I survived yesterday although it was a struggle. It was the worst day I have had in a long time. Not so much about my drinking, but life in general. Today feels different and it’s surprising what one good nights sleep can do for the body and mind. I consistently underestimate the power of sleep. Something so simple and yet it’s effects are all encompassing…so why don’t I go to bed earlier on a regular basis? Well mainly because late at night is the only time when the house is quiet and I can work in peace. I know this and have done for a long time. The reality is that I have a very young family who don’t give a toss about my struggles and nor can/should they. My four children are just that – children. I’m simply going to have to walk the talk on this which is:
- One day at a time
- My life is what it is
- Reality is hard
- Practice patience and forgiveness
- Accept that I can only do so much
I keep getting ahead of myself and dream of adventures and projects that with a very young family are simply not possible…RIGHT NOW.
It’s all about the NOW isn’t it? The now is where everything happens but for most of my life I have been preoccupied with tomorrow. Some people live in the past and some in the future. The hardest thing is to live in the present moment. But that’s exactly what the moment is – a present. A gift. An opportunity for life. Do I accept the NOW or continue to frustrate myself with the tomorrow.
Man this is driving me nuts. None of this is new. I have known this shit for years, but there is a massive gulf between knowing and doing.
It’s time for some serious doing.
Till tomorrow…always tomorrow!
Until the moment…
Boozebrain
boozebrain 